crochet project gone wrong

Suzanna Fitzgerald is our January-March 2019 Seam Ripper Champion for her sadly hilarious tale of a simple crochet project gone wrong – or possibly horribly right. We’re not sure, so let us know what you think in the comments below.

It was just a simple crochet project…Gone Wrong!  

Or maybe I’m not as good at crocheting and pattern-reading as I would like to believe.  Hmm…

I found some yarn I had been saving for a special occasion.  The specific yarn is from Red Heart, 100% acrylic, color “Black Light.”  It’s a really brilliant yarn in neon shades of orange, green, yellow, pink, dark blue, and black.  Just right to be woven into a complicated-looking pattern.

Third Step – Making Sure (Measuring Twice)

I practiced the various stitches in front of the computer until I had them, then I wrote down the pattern in crochet shorthand (pattern formula) and proceeded to stitch away. 

This Is Where Reality Stepped In

I had envisioned sitting in front of the TV of an evening, keeping my hands busy with a crochet hook and string of yarn, enjoying myself royally on a unique project.  Hah!

Instead, after about a week, I realized that I had made a horrible mistake.

Step Four – Tear it Apart and Start Again

I proceeded to pull the anchoring stitches, about three thick, tight lines which would become the shoulder band. 

Having successfully decimated hours of work, I went back to the tutorial.  This time I watched my internet teacher each step of the way – which still looked totally easy when she did it – as I re-measured, and carefully, carefully, re-stitched the shoulder band. 

Step Five – Are We There Yet?

Step Six – The Largest Part

Wildly pleased, I proceeded to stitch the body of the poncho.

Step Seven – Complete and Utter Confusion

This moment can best be described by one word repeated frequently and at various volumes; “huh?”

I looked, I peered, and I measured.  I re-measured.  I pulled out four lines of hard-fought progress, and proceeded, once again watching my tutorial step-by-step.

It didn’t matter. 

While my touched-by-crafting-angels-internet-teacher blithely showed row after row of smoothly draping poncho, my crochet project gone wrong hung in heavy, wrinkled folds.  Obviously I had too many stitches in each row for the design – but how?

*I actually came up with a really great trick for keeping tracks of rows when working in the round – read all the way to the bottom to see it!

Step Eight – Help!  

Admitting defeat, I went to my wise and artsy mother who had taught both me and her own mother to crochet (at different times) and asked her what she thought.

Together we went through the pattern, my style of crocheting, my tension, and the instructional video twice over. 

Finally we determined that – for whatever reason – the original pattern was too loose.  We weren’t sure why; if it was the yarn, the size of my crochet hook, my inability to count properly, or what.

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Step Nine – Redesigning the Pattern

Together we worked the rounds of crocheting to be tighter, cutting multiple stitches out of the early rounds and severely diminishing the exponential increase of each succeeding row.

Step Ten – Finally! 

My crochet project hung nicely, slowly expanding out from the shoulder band like it was supposed to. 

It was bright, it was easy, it was beautiful.  I finally had my pattern memorized, and I worked down roughly fifteen rows (which was a lot of yarn!)

Step Eleven – Trying it on

My patient sister tugged the half-finished design over her head, eager to see how much more I had to do. 

We stood and stared, stunned and disbelieving. 

Everything look perfect – it really did.  Except!  Our custom alterations to the pattern had not only taken out those unsightly folds, it had tightened the entire design. 

The project had not only taken a hard right turn from my hopes, the body of the poncho was now so tight that she could not move her arms, at all. 

Step Twelve – Scream Loudly 

This was rather a splendid scream, as the three of us – a loving mother and her two daughters – shared the frustration equally by that point.

Step Thirteen – Accepting Fate

I’d love to be able to say that I persevered until I got the poncho that I originally wanted, and that it was beautiful, and my sister loved it, and that I learned something valuable.

Well, I did learn something valuable, but the rest of it…not so much.

Instead, after the screaming died down, my sister discovered that she could very easily pull the poncho down her arms, and that it fit at her natural waistline. 

We sat and stared, in a good way for the first time through the course of the project. 

Slowly, it dawned on us that the shape our so-called poncho had taken was very similar to an A-frame skirt (which happens to be a very appealing style for my sister’s body shape). 

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The Continuing Saga of the Amazing Mutating Skirt

My crochet project gone wrong mutated from a poncho into a skirt.  But!  My project wasn’t done giving me fits. 

I finished the crocheting, and my mother sewed in a black cotton underskirt for modesty and comfort.  My sister wore it as part of a crayon costume at summer camp, and a few years later she proudly wore it to a business conference. 

Tips:

1. When working on a round pattern use a safety pin to mark the beginning of the last row.  That way you instantly know when to switch stitches.
2. Make sure to do the foundation rows (in this case the waistband) when your total concentration is on it.  Don’t begin crocheting in front of the TV until you are on the simple, repeating part of the pattern.
3. Try to match your tension with the original pattern as much as possible.
4. Be ready to change your plan.  Crochet can be a bit unpredictable.  An afghan that you sized for a twin may grow into a queen or even a king.  Or a garment may become something totally different.  Being ready to adapt can save you a lot of frustration and time spent pulling those hard-won stitches.
5. After finishing a project, go in and put a drop of fabric glue into each knot where you tied in a new skein of yarn (either for continuing or for changing colors).  This will help to preserve your beautiful creation in the long run!

Final Thoughts

Remember to have fun with your crochet projects.  You will run into snags, but you’ll learn something from them, every time.  And, with a little faith and perseverance, you may create something even more beautiful, and useful, out of your mistakes than you could have imagined!

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